An aging novelist and Nobel Prize winner gives what he knows is his last interview. But rather than take questions, he has rather pointed ones of his own, based on his twenty years of statistical analyses of the obituary pages. He claims to have identified the real way that zero population growth has been achieved (using plausible sounding statistical terminology), right down to predicting the day of his own death (using plausible sounding Malthusian economics and an implausible sounding reference to projective geometry).